Thank you for a wonderful three-day weekend and the wonderful sales that stores have in your honor. Also, thank you to the U.S. government for federal holidays. It's easier to get stuff done on holidays when most of the rest of the world has to work.
Sincerely,
Emily
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Dear Columbia Sportswear,
While I appreciate the fact that my jacket was almost 75% off, I would like to inform you that winter does not appear to be ending anytime soon. As a result, your "End of Season Sale" was somewhat of a misnomer.
Sincerely,
Emily
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Dear Facebook iPhone App,
Your newsfeed sucks. Don't you know that relationship statuses are the most useful information thefacebook could ever possibly hope to contribute to society or, more importantly at this point, me. Fail.
Sincerely,
Emily
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