hotel rwanda

i went to see hotel rwanda today with cassidy. i think the best adjective i have for what i felt after watching it was petty. not the movie, but myself. i started thinking about all the things i worry about in my life, mostly about school and relationships...not exactly life and death issues. my life is consumed with little worries, almost always having to do with myself.

what if i honestly just stopped worrying about myself, about my issues, and started concerning myself with other people. there are so many people and countries that have much bigger needs than i can ever dream of having. the thought of having to deal with a war or fighting on my country's own soil has never crossed my mind as even being possible. what if i had to deal with the moral issue of genocide and i had to put my life at risk to do the right thing? what would i do? would i have the courage to stand up for what is right? i guess that's kind of a hard "what if...?" question to answer, but if my actions now are any indicator, i'd probably have to say "no", i wouldn't. i fail day after day to make the right decisions. i choose a path of selfishness without even thinking about it. i do what seems best for me.

how do i change that? how do i take my own little spotlight off of me and move it anyone else...you'd think with the ratio of everyone else to me being so extremely large it would be easier, but it isn't.