Lab!

I am a TA this semester for Digital Design Lab. This is a senior-level lab that combines the previous two electronics labs these students have taken with their microprocessor class, which covers programming in assembly language. When I took this classes, I didn't really learn everything I was supposed to, in part due to the fact that that was my busiest semester (aka, hell semester) and due to the fact that my lab parter would finish the labs before I even had a chance to go work on them. So...going into this semester, I was a bit worried that I wouldn't really know enough to be a good TA for this class. I have learned in the first 3.5 weeks, that I should be just fine. Because, while I may not know everything in this class, I learn what the lab is about from the first 3 people who ask me questions, and then I can usually adequately explain what is going on to the next 10 or 15 people that ask. It also doesn't hurt that I'm pretty detail-oriented and can therefore realize when a wire is unplugged, or a variable isn't being updated in code, or they're not masking off bits. I think I actually like this job. That's a little bit surprising to me, but it shouldn't be. I've always loved my electronics labs and it's good to be back in lab again.

All At Once

Life right now is going really well. School is pretty much amazing in that so far it has been virtually no work. I do spend the majority of my life in front of a computer, but I was expecting that. All three of my classes are very computer-based and two of them are sort of designed so that it's possible to finish your homework in class.

Beside school, I've also managed to get three jobs for this semester. I was a little worried that all this might just be "too much" for me to handle. I think I'll be okay. Since I managed to cut one physics class out of my semester, I seem to have a ton of time now, which means the house is pretty clean most of the time and sometimes I even cook.

I'm a little worried though. It seems as though the past three semesters at least have involved an emotional breakdown in the middle of the semester. I feel like I'm going to be waiting for that all semester. Hopefully I can go a semester without a two week crying spell in the middle. Ha! Now I at least have one goal for the semester. I think the best way to meet that goal is actually just to get a lot of sleep. I know what is a key factor to some of the crying is.

Actually, the key goal for the semester is discipline. I'm so bad at this. I need structure in my life, but I'm not that great and creating for myself or sticking to it. But I can change. That's the good thing, I am always being made more into God's likeness.

papers

Rule of Thumb: if you have a paper to write, never, NEVER, start watching the first movie in a trilogy that you haven't seen during the weekend before your paper is due.

faith

Remember when I used to write in this blog? Yeah, me too.

I'm not going to write much because I need to study, but let's just say that this semester has been really, really rough so far. It's going to get better, I know, but right now I just don't want to deal with this. So much change. I kind of feel like my foundations have been shaken and I'm searching for some solid ground. I'm going to keep walking by faith and trusting in His goodness.

Isaiah 55:8-9
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

That's something I need to meditate on some more.

school

Remember when I used to write in this thing on a regular basis? Wow.

Well, I'm ready to graduate. And by that, I mean "I'm ready to be done with capstone" and quantum, and thermo, and numerical methods....

I got a 29% on my quantum test today. I hit the average. Awesome.

Grad school decision = OU
Advisor = Dr. McCann

Currently Listening: Indelible Grace
Currently Reading: if only I had time for that...

Purdue

Purdue is a lovely place. Definitely a college town.

My mom and I got pizza tonight and there were Tootsie Rolls in the box with it :)

I wish I wasn't working on my capstone right now :(

Spring

Oklahoma is turning beautiful again. :)

I fly to Nashville tomorrow to visit Vanderbilt. I'm meeting with 12 different professors for about 30 minutes each. I'm scared.

More decisions...

This cartoon is awesome, but only like one of you will get it.



Why is it that right after you make a decision a bunch of great alternatives come your way? Right now a lot of places besides OU sound really great for post-graduation. IBM sounds good, either for summer or as a job. Purdue I could really take or leave, but they accepted me and offered me a TA position. Vanderbilt, on the other hand, called me this week twice about my application that I never finished online and didn't submit, but they want to talk to me. Too bad Tennessee sounds like a great place to live and the program sounds interesting. But you know what, I made my decision and I made it for a reason and those reasons haven't changed. I just need to trust God that I am making the best decision and keep going. *sigh* I really do have a hard time making decisions. Also, a prof at OU that I loved having for class but is apparently hard to work for doing research apparently wants to talk with me and a friend about doing research with him. Wow. I think I really do have a lot of options right now; aka, more decisions.

Decisions

I made a couple of decisions today. Actually, I'm fairly certain these decisions were made awhile ago but for some reason I couldn't quite justify them, either to myself or to other people. Mostly to other people, actually.

Decision #1: I will be staying at OU next year. Unless something very big happens that would cause me to seriously reconsider that choice. Even if I get into Purdue and get funded, I will stay here. I've had a few people tell me that I should try to go to a better school. Honestly, I could probably get into whatever school I wanted to, maybe even get funded at a lot of them. The best reason that people had for telling me to leave was that it would be better for my career if I want to be a professor. That's definitely true. I can't and won't deny that. However, there are, in fact, things that are more important than a career. I've spent the past 3.5 years here focused on academics. That can't change entirely, seeing as I am still going to grad school, however, there's a lot of stuff at OU that, while not as a whole "better", is better for me at this point. I feel like I would have a lot of opportunity to grow spiritually if I stay at OU. Granted, this opportunity has probably been here the entirety of my time in Norman, but I didn't take it. I'm sure there are opportunities in Indiana as well, but I think having to adjust to a new environment and friends and professors would have the potential to distract me a lot from more important things. I have amazing friends in Norman, friendships that are getting deeper to the point where we are challenging each other. I'm not ready to give that up and I think that those are perfectly good reasons to stay in Norman at OU.

Decision #2: I will be going to Project Impact this summer, probably in Chicago. This decision was also mostly made awhile ago. I think my mom wants me to come home for the summer. Part of me would like that, but the rest of me knows that I fall into really bad habits at home. Having my own car at that point would help, but I think this is a time that I really need to be building good habits and again not focusing on anything school-related. Oddly enough, I'm also really looking forward to living with and getting to know more girls. I am getting better :)